Self-Reform is Missing

Being in the flow with a partner is a great experience, but society undermines partnership by inflaming its dominate-or-submit culture. The Democratic and Republican parties reinforce these divisive tendencies. Undoing deeply embedded social conditioning and nurturing compassionate cooperation throughout society will require sustained effort and mutual support.

With true partners, you care for the other as much as you care for yourself. The more they benefit, the more you benefit. You listen, learn, understand, and respect each other. You make decisions together, as equals, perhaps switching roles and delegating responsibilities. You’re a team. No one dominates or considers themselves to be a superior human being. 

Tight-knit teams flourish at work and school, in sports, with music and the arts, and in community organizations. Members cooperate to achieve collective goals. Whole nations unite to solve problems or deal with catastrophes. Study group members teach one another. Sports team members inspire each other. Highly skilled musicians improvise, taking the group to new territory. Every member is important. Team spirit elevates performance. Throughout society, while accepting justified social control, strong individuals and strong communities cultivate empowerment.

Unfortunately, however, Americans (as is the case with humans in general) have an arrogance problem. Most if not all Americans believe someone must always be in charge. Leadership is defined as the ability to get others to do what the leader wants. People act like they have the answer. They believe they’re right and others are wrong. They aim to impose their opinions. They talk more than they listen. This elitism is pervasive, on every level, in every arena. Most people want to direct others when they can and are willing to follow when they cannot. Abroad, America has tried to build nations in its own image. 

Whether labeled meritocracy or rankism or in some other way, our society’s hyper-competitive hyper-individualism runs counter to compassionate, democratic community. Anyone with a heart must agonize over the suffering that results.

Some domination is justified; red lights are necessary. Some ambition, seeking to advance and improve, is healthy. Everyone appreciates peak performances that set new records. But domination and ambition that abuse, manipulate, or exploit others for personal gain are unjustified, oppressive, and counter-productive.

The political world is a reflection of these underlying realities. Personal and interpersonal habits become expressed in political behavior. The lack of compassion, the desire to dominate, and the inability to form co-equal partnerships — these and other private patterns carry over into public activities and reinforce the dominant social system. The results include rigid divisions, scapegoating, hyper-partisanship, demonizing, sectarianism, and systemic racism — all symptoms of the deep-seated drive to dominate for selfish gain.

Both political parties reflect these patterns. Democratic candidates, for instance, have condemned opponents as “irredeemable deplorables,” said their opponents “get bitter [and] cling to guns or religion,” declared “I don’t think parents should be telling schools what they should teach,” and dismissed rural voters as hopelessly “very conservative.” As Lilliana Mason told Ezra Klein, “I think the biggest weakness of the Democratic Party is that it often makes people feel stupid or retrograde. The leaders of it, the kind of atmosphere of it, which is not to say like every individual Democratic politician or person, but the party’s kind of cultural structure has just become, like, much more dominated by college-educated liberals and postgrad liberals.

As Democrats examine the shift of rural voters to the Republican Party, they generally treat it as a marketing problem, merely call for new policy proposals, or recommend superficial behavioral changes. Instead, they could engage in serious self-examination and declare, “Like most if not all Americans, I have elitist tendencies, I sometimes react judgmentally, and I need to better understand people who disagree with me. I’m working on fixing these problems, pledge to listen and communicate more respectfully, and hope you will do the same.” 

Politicians could come clean, confess, apologize, acknowledge their elitist history, acknowledge these tendencies as a widespread American problem, and pledge to work on controlling these impulses. They could promise to respect others more fully and listen to them more closely while pushing for policies that address everyone’s need for a good life. They might even commit to convening deliberative democracy workshops with randomly selected constituents to carefully formulate solutions to political problems — and give these proposals serious consideration. 

Moreover, no activist organization encourages its members to undo their elitist, dominate-or-submit social conditioning. Rather, they neglect self-reform, assume moral superiority, and arrogantly focus on changing others. Their goals and activities fail to encourage their members and the general public to help each other undo internalized oppression. This neglect reinforces fragmentation and undermines the potential for broadscale unity. 

The Americans for Humanity website aims to cultivate a reversal of this downward spiral by encouraging compassion-minded activist organizations of all stripes — including political, personal growth, spiritual, and social service efforts — to set aside time for their members to provide mutual support for overcoming these divisive tendencies. 

Achieving the goals affirmed by Americans for Humanity: A Declaration will result in holistic and systemic transformation. All of our institutions, our culture, and ourselves as individuals are woven together into a self-perpetuating social system — the System — that encourages everyone to climb social ladders, gain more status and power, look down on those below, and dominate others (and the environment) — or submit to those above. This dynamic fragments society and weakens community. “They” are not the problem. The System is the problem and it is deeply embedded in each of us.

Fortunately, a promising cultural revolution is emerging. Authors are planting seeds that challenge meritocracy, or rankism. The Gen Z generation is reportedly much more likely to challenge rigid hierarchies at work. Thought leaders are speaking out. Barack Obama said: 

In all of us, there’s a longing to do what is right, in all of us there’s a willingness to love all people and extend to them their God-given rights to dignity and respect. So many of us lose that sense. It’s taught out of us. We start feeling as if, in fact, we can’t afford to extend kindness or decency to other people, that we’re better off if we’re above other people and looking down on them. And so often that’s encouraged in our culture..

He’s also referred to oppressive actions as efforts to “claim status.”

Alicia Garza reported, "A woman said I don't control the channel changer in my house.… I've got to change conditions in my house, I've got to change conditions in my neighborhood, I've got to change conditions where I work." 

Valarie Kaur affirms: 

We are reclaiming love as a force for justice. Grieving together is revolutionary love. Holding each other in our rage is revolutionary love. Listening to each other is revolutionary love. Reimagining the country together is revolutionary love. As well as the big acts of policy demands, all of that is part of an ecosystem of a vibrant movement espousing the ethic of love…. But many young activists are dying early or taking their lives or getting sick or opting out. We’re not building enough spaces to help each other love ourselves. How many of us are tempted to mirror the kind of vitriol we are fighting..

In his campaign for President, to a degree unusual for a presidential candidate, Joe Biden frequently referred to America’s belief that everyone is created equal and should be treated with respect throughout their life. After his inauguration, during a virtual swearing-in ceremony for hundreds of new government employees, Biden made it clear he’s concerned about more than the political arena. He’s also concerned about the workplace. He told these new workers, “I'm not joking when I say this: If you're ever working with me and I hear you treat another with disrespect, talk down to someone, I promise you I will fire you on the spot.… We have to restore the soul of this country, and I'm counting on all of you to be part of that.” 

Whether and how activists incorporate these principles into their work remains to be seen. As action on these issues develops, this website will report on their efforts and share related reports, ideas, and information — and present new proposals for action to help transform this nation into a compassionate community. In the meantime, if you haven’t done so already, please sign Americans For Humanity: A Declaration and encourage your friends, relatives, and associates to do the same.

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To sign “Americans for Humanity: A Declaration”, please complete the form on this page.